Well, here I am.

A buck for anyone that knows that quote without cheating.

So life lately has been lifing. I've been looking for a new job with no success. I enjoyed working as a carpenter but they suddenly had no work. I did have to take a couple of months to let my feet heal as they've decided to have all sorts of issues, but they're better(ish) now and I need a job.

I've applied to everything that I can find, from retail to banks to laborer, but everyone "goes a different direction". I take this to mean there must be something wrong with me. Is it because I'm overweight? I don't smell or show up disheveled to interviews. I feel that I portray myself well; by that I mean that I'm professional and polite. I don't get it.

So meanwhile I'm not providing for my family and hating the fact that I'm not. I wish I had an idea I could sell for a million bucks, but even the great ideas I have I have no idea how to act upon. (I'm nerdily tickled that I wrote "I have I have")

So if my one reader knows of any job or how to go about building a prototype, let me know.

I'm a Mormon, Yes I Am.

Recently there has been a lot of exposure about Mormonism. Some good, some bad. The other day I had a friend who I respect and care about attack Mormonism with foulness, expletives, "you believe's", "did you know's", "Joseph Smith this and that's". Basically all things I've heard before, but not from someone I trust and love.

I have never been confrontational about my beliefs. I know they seem different and weird to people, but you know what, some of theirs seem that way to me. I think that we should live and let live. Even on my mission if I came across people that had a belief they were stalwart in and thought was the truth I would thank them for their time and move on (if they expressed no desire to hear about mine). I wouldn't push and wheedle like other missionaries I knew. I wouldn't insist that they need to come to my truth. If they had a belief I was happy for them, and you know what, I was an extremely successful missionary by teaching those who wanted to be taught.

All that said I'm going back to my railing friend who asked venomously "why do you even believe that? Why do you follow so many restrictions and rules? There's no truth in those, why not just have fun and enjoy life?" I've heard all these things before, I've thought about these things before. Here's my answer:

I am a Mormon, and I believe in my church because I hope. I hope beyond comprehension that the church is true. I hope beyond 'rational thought' that I'll be sealed to my wonderful wife for all eternity. My heart and soul ache with the losses of my baby brother Enoch and my brother in law Brian. Both of them were honestly too good for this earth and I hope beyond all my own comprehension and understanding that when I leave this world they will be waiting for me and I will get to wrap my arms around them and share eternity with them. I hope that the atonement is real, I hope that Christ really paid for my many many shortcomings. I hope that there is a world of Joy and Light beyond this one where I can be with my beloved family and friends. I hope. Plain and simple.

I also believe. I believe in the things that I'm taught because they resonate within me and feel right. I believe that there must be more to life than just this life. I can't comprehend passing on from this life to nothing. NOTHING, not even existence. I cannot believe that.

Long and short, I am a Mormon. I hope. I believe. I will not rant and rail at you for what I think is strange and restrictive. I do enjoy life, I don't need some of the things that other people "need" to have fun. I have some issues with some things that are not necessarily taught, but are widely believed, by my church. But I deal with those and do the best that I possibly can.

And you know what? If I'm wrong, and there is nothing after this life at least I had that brightness of hope; at least I lived the best that I could, making mistakes all the way, but learning and growing. If I'm right and there is more in the next world and I do get to be with my brothers and I get to hear my God say "well done, enter into the rest of the Lord" how happy will I be and I hope that you will join me there eventually.

CIty of Joseph. City "the Beautiful". City of Joseph, Nauvoo.

This summer Susan and I went to Nauvoo. She played in the bagpipe band for the pageant. I hung out and ate Casey's pizza and Annie's frozen custard.

We had fun. Poor Susan played four times a day with the last time being an hour and a half straight to drown out the protesters. I was under strict instruction to not punch the protesters. Bah.

We got to see old Nauvoo and go across to the Iowa side of things to see the Temple from across the river.

Every day the pipe band would parade down Mulholland street and then play one or two 30 minute gigs in old Nauvoo. At 7:00 pm they would muster at the entrance to the pageant and play until about 8:25 while people were coming in. At 8:30 they'd begin the pageant by playing at the front of the flag presentation. At one point during the pageant a few had a small part on stage and then they'd have to stay around and mingle afterwards. With the exception of 2 hour-ish breaks they would be at it from 10:30 am to close to 11:00 pm. I was super proud of her.

I took Susan, and a couple friends that went out, to AOA and Far West and through Nauvoo and to Liberty Jail. 

After the pageant was over we drove to Missouri where we were able to be a part of doing Enoch's temple work at the Kansas City Temple. I was able to Baptize Seth as proxy for Enoch. It was really special and an experience I'll treasure forever.

Brian

                                                            Brian is in the middle


I've been meaning to post a blog all day about how life isn't fair for taking Brian and how saddened and angry at God I am, but instead I figure I should talk about how great he was and is.

First I heard from Brain was am email that Susan forwarded to me after telling him that we were engaged. He was so bubbly and excited for her and stoked that we were going to wait for him to come back from his mission to be able to attend. His email was full of "wow's" and "yea's". I could tell how much he loved Susan and how truly happy he was for her.

I got to go along with Susan and tom and Kathy when they picked him up at the airport. He was a turd; rather than coming down the escalator like the rest of the missionaries he snuck around another stairway and tried to sneak around the crowd of people to surprise his family. Susan spoiled that plan by discovering him. He laughed it off and threw his arms around Kathy.

All the way home he muttered things such as "where am I?" "what is this place?" "where are the trees?" Susan reached out her hand to him and he put a pass-along card in it and said "Jesus came to the Americas." I was being dumb and he'd mutter "who is this guy?" Whenever his mom or dad called him "Brian" he'd correct them by muttering "Elder Kelley".

I have dinner twice a week at his parents house where he stayed for a while after coming home and I'd get to laugh and joke with him and play card games and watch him try to cheat all the while directing his signature 'ssssssssssss' at his mom.

Brian moved in with us for a couple months to be closer to Provo. I remember nights of playing Mario while giggling like idiots and screaming in fright at the unexpected traps in the levels all the while with Susan laughing at us.

Of course he came out to Nauvoo with us when we got married and he made the trip hilarious. From climbing on statues to making friends with everyone out there to stealing Susan's cowl and parading around to being the self appointed cake-cutter/drink filler at our reception he just kept everybody laughing and happy.

Brian was a joy. He was truly a happy kid and he was beautiful and he knew it. Everybody was Brian's friend, they just didn't know it yet. The world is a darker place without him, and I am lucky beyond belief to have known him and to be able to see him again.

Second Verse, Same as the First

SO, back to the cruise...



Our third stop was in Belize where we decided to take an excursion. Most were expensive and not things we'd think we'd do but we found one to the zoo for about 60 each that both of us thought would be fun. It was cool. After a bus ride of an hour or so we got to the Zoo which was a fenced off section of jungle in the middle of nowhere. The thing I liked about the zoo was that instead of paddocks and cement like in America the Belizians fenced off sections of jungle and left dirt and gravel paths between the different enclosures. So basically all of the animals were in their natural habitat with trees and bushes and creeks etc. there were some really cool animals that I haven't seen in any zoo's here and the jungleness of the place was awesome.

This is one of the paths in the zoo.














Is to for Jaguar.






We had a lot of fun there and got to see cool animals and hold a boa.

Next stop Grand Cayman

Cayman is one of my favorite places in the world. I've been there 4 times now and I absolutely love it. We took an excursion here as well and went to the turtle farm. Incredible. We got to see the breeding tank that had hundreds of huge turtles, we held the little yearlings and got to get in a holding tank and play with them. it was awesome. Of course I had to try the turtle burger at the bar. Susan was horrified.  As seen in the picture if you rub a turtles neck he gets all sorts of excited and arches his neck back for deeper rubs. They were so cute.

After a couple days at sea we were back in Miami and not too long after back in the old UT. It was fun, we kinda maybe wanna sorta go again.

 

It's a Good Life on a Boat

Been a while ago, but Susan and I took our honeymoon in April over her spring break. We went on a cruise to Cozumel, Roatan (Honduras), Belize, and grand cayman. While the trip was incredible it was overshadowed by being able to be with her 24/7 as we had not had any "us time" since we were married. After a whirlwind of travel and wedding and reception it was right back to work and the real world. For that reason this trip was amazing.

I've been on a few cruises before so got a good deal on a balcony sweet that was midship on the 8th deck: Close to everything; minimal rockage from waves; big enough to spend time in without claustrophobia. It was fantastic

Left: our room. Right: our view aft.




It was also nice to have a balcony to stand on without having to share room with thousands of people.

Our first stop was on Cozumel. I love Cozumel, the beaches are incredible; white sand, clear brilliantly blue water, English speaking attendees... Anyway, we got to the beach before anyone else so got a front row beach chair and hung out for a few hours. I snorkeled and played with baby jellyfish. Susan  walked on the beach with me and otherwise had fun away from the water.

 Top Left: gearing up to snorkel. Top Right: My lovely Lady
 Bottom Left: our beach. Bottom Right: Baby Jelly.

We decided, after several hours, to go back to the ship and it was at that point that other people began to show up in force. Until then there had only been around 20-30 people out with us. Awesome :)

I won't go into how incredible the food was, or how plentiful, on the ship. Suffice it to say that we wanted for naught and I gained 12 pounds.



Second day was Roatan. Again we spent time on the beach. Again we were earlier than anyone so had fun before other people came out. The flowers and plants were the highlight of Roatan for me.

Susan got brave and got in the water! Then jumped on my back and had to be towed back in to shore when she stepped on some icky seaweed.

In my next post I'll talk about Belize and Cayman :) TTFN
              

Ooh baby baby, bababy baby,

Don't get too excited about the post, it's not an announcement.

Susan and I have been discussing children and our hopes and fears for child-rearing. As such we've been discussing names for said future offspring. I'm fairly confident my parents won't like the names. They're not standard biblical names and might be construed as strange. Susan has thought of some first names which I love and I'm picking middle names that she's getting used to. The middle names of course being after some of my favorite characters from literature. And by literature I mean fantasy books. And by fantasy I mean magic and quests, not soft porn for lonely old ladies. Ixnay on the abioFay.

So let the wild rumpus begin; the names I like as middle names are: Kaladin, Matrim, Kvothe for boys; Moiraine, Lothlorien, Vin for girls.

Petibo?

SO, I didn't get the second job... But the one that I do have is turning out to be more enjoyable than I would have thought. That's not to say that the work itself isn't mind-numbing, but I work with some fun, nerdy people.
It's kind of nice to wear a firefly or battlestar t-shirt and have people know what it is. Weirdly, and the reason this entry is titled the way it is, my supervisor knows my little sister. He just happened to ask me one day if I was related to a Rachel Deardeuff. Funny.
But I guess the Mormon world is a relatively small one.