If by now you haven't picked up on it each of my (all 4, i know, shut up) blog titles is a quote from something. Props to anyone who knows them. Carrying on...
For as long as I can remember I have been bigger than everyone, always chubby, always awkward. I was always uncomfortable around people because of my size, ridiculed by kids at school for being a 'fat-ass', called fat and worthless by people who mattered to me, so of course I saw myself as just that, fat. Fatty McFat Fat. That was my identity. I had and still somewhat have horrib;e self-esteem and bad body image issues. A few years ago I decided to just accept it and not care what people thought about me and just live. However there is still the part of my brain that sees someone looking at me and wonders if they're judging me because I'm large or silently laughing about my fairly large 'moobs'. I'm mostly over it, but every now and again fall into my insecurities.
Lately, last October(after having to spend extra on a scale that would show me anything but an 'E') I discovered that I weighed 372 pounds. !. !!. So I decided that rather than just accept it I was going to have to do something about it. People tell me I don't look like I weigh that much and I carry it well. I am also rather active and athletic for my size when i decide to be. But I can definitely feel it. Less energy, effort to do simple things, knees flipping me off etc. Anyway, I decided to do something about it. I'm not doing as much as I could or should, but I am making progress. I switched up the way that I eat, no more fast food or ordering pizza. No more sugars, pop, etc. I'm trying to make an effort to work out somewhat be it go for a walk or lift simple weights. And so far I am doing well. As of today I am at 340, the lightest I've been in about 6 years. My goal is to get down below 300 by the end of the summer and ultimately hit around 250. It's gonna be a long road, and I think it'd be a lot easier if I had a work out buddy, but I'm gonna press on anyway and see what I can do :)
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Great job, Joe! It's slow going but I'm sure you're already feeling better. I need to get on that weight-loss train... I think you were around 240 or 250 at the end of high school. You looked really good at that weight. You were never all that fat as a kid. I'm really sorry I used to tease you about it. :(
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, It wasn't you. I have no lasting aemotional damage from you. And I gave up deciding to kill you years ago. 338 today :)
ReplyDeletehmm, spelling errors much?
ReplyDeleteWell, we can be long-distance workout buddies. :)
ReplyDeleteI am starting a yoga regime to get my energy up and improve my mood. (The PC way of saying: hey, I'm depressed, so I'm doing yoga to feel better.)
Anyway, I'll let you know how I do.