I am a prisoner in my own mind.

I have Asperger's Syndrome. I don't have it as bad as some but there are some things that, in my mind, are not quite right.

"Asperger's syndrome, is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests. It differs from other autism spectrum disorders by its relative preservation of linguistic and cognitive development. Although not required for diagnosis, physical clumsiness and atypical (peculiar, odd) use of language are frequently reported." -The Almighty Wikipedia

This, combined with ADD, gives me some interesting quirks, some of which I will share with you. Really, as no one reads this, I am really just writing them down.

First and foremost is that I don't like people. Rather, that is to say, I don't like interacting with people. I don't feel comfortable talking to people and I don't seem to relate to people my age really well. I am great with kids because I have a comparable attention span and fascination with similar things (bugs, rocks, animals, poop, burping, farting, etc). When I do have to talk or interact with people I get anxiety about saying or doing something stupid or unacceptable (even people I've known for years) that will make them hate me or think ill of me (some of this may stem from childhood trauma too). At the same time I am extremely uncomfortable looking at people's faces. I can look close, such as at an ear, forehead, neck (sometimes I've had women uncomfortably adjust their shirt at that, I apologize, I am not looking at your breasts) etc, but I can't look people in the face and on the occasion that I do I usually have what a term a "freak-out" afterwards.

"Freak-outs" involve me having to find a spot alone where my brain can fire off all its discomfort and get rid of it. In the process my eyes will move back and forth as far as they can to try to stretch the muscles out (because it physically hurts my eyes to look at people) and my heart races until the "freak-out" passes. Other things cause "freak-outs" as well. Sometimes there is just too much sensation at one time and I have to cut one of them off. I usually accomplish that by covering my eyes or my ears to block out one of those senses. Sometimes when my eyes are bad I see things start moving that are completely inanimate; the biggest offender on this is a textured ceiling, the textures become pictures and shapes that move around on the ceiling. Most of the time I see animal or humanesq-ue faces (made of texture shapes) that turn and watch me or seem to do battle with each other. I always have to put my arm over my eyes when that happens and breathe.

The other side of the sensory input, though, is that I have really fast reaction times and can usually fully follow multiple conversations at the same time. This can also be annoying as I'll be listening to a teacher in Sunday School, talking to my wife, listening to my neighbors argue about their child, and hear the people in front of me discussing dinner plans. Any of these conversations I could repeat back verbatim. One time for the hell of it I watched three TV shows at the same time and understood everything.

Some of my other quirks include a necessity to sit in the same spot for everything. Computer time requires I be on the left side of the couch; TV the right. Dinner I'm on the first left chair of the table; Games the first right. (Last night I sat in the second right chair and my brain thought the game board was wrong. I insisted and insisted that it was wrong and my eyes started doing their stretching routine. After about 5 minutes I was able to realize what was wrong and reorient myself,  but up to that point my brain ached with the wrongness.) Church I have to sit on the back pew by the arm; I usually arrive 30 minutes early so I can have my spot. If someone has taken that pew and I am forced to sit somewhere else my heart races and I can't focus on anything going on, my knee bounces, my body shakes. It's all rather horrible.

Quirk the forty-second: I don't generally talk like other people. I use British and archaic slang, I structure my sentences somewhat differently, I tend to use larger terms than necessary (I had a couple of friends tell me they use their google, or dictionary, apps a lot more frequently when I'm around) and sometimes have to repeat a sentence with different words to make people understand. That I kind of blame other people for (example, not often is "that' used that way as it becomes confusing) as I think that people should have a larger vocabulary and use more of the English Language. (I also take great, great delight in wordplay).

I have several routines that I do in order to make sure my day goes smoothly and when I need to change a routine it usually takes a couple of weeks before I am comfortable again. Some of these routines are rather simple things that shouldn't make a difference, but do. For example; When I get in my car I have to start it, put it in gear, and then put on my seat-belt. If I don't do it in that order then several hours of my day will be governed by anxiety and my brain firing all cylinders trying to justify within itself what I did. Part of my brain will say "it's okay, it's unimportant, the end result was the same". Another part of my brain will say "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH". A third will argue with the first that It doesn't know what It's talking about and because I did something wrong something horrible is going to happen. All the while the background of my brain will play a movie or song that I find soothing (some of these may be surprising to other people: Movies that my brain calms itself with are the Star Wars trilogy (I can play the entire movie(s) in my head verbatim), Pride and Prejudice (A&E version, the others are tommy-rot), and Kill Bill. Music that plays is (9 times out of 10) The Girl From Ipanema).

I learned over the years how to deal with most of my quirks and "freak-outs" to the point that I appear mostly normal and people have no idea that my brain is firing a hundred thoughts at a time. Sometimes I have to explain things I say and how I got there. Much like a person can get on youtube and find themselves after a click on a click on a click looking at a page on the binomial nomenclature of a cape buffalo my brain will hear something and flip flip flip flip flip to something completely unrelated that makes absolute sense to me but once voiced meets confused stares. Along with that is quite literally everything that someone says will bring a song or movie to mind immediately. EVERYTHING.

Anyway, there are more inexplicabilities that go on, but I just wanted to ramble a little bit about some of the things I do that make people say/think "what the hell?".

A Little Bit Jumbled and Jivey

There's been a lot of outcry as of late about Gay Marriage. As such, I decided to jot down my thoughts on the matter. I considered, briefly, facebooking them, but I saw other people's thoughts voiced on Facebook and it turned into hateful arguments. I don't appreciate hate, so figure I'd do it here in a less seen forum.

To start off with let me just say that I adore my wife. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me and makes me so much better a person than I was on my own. She truly completes me and gives more to my life than I've ever had. I think that everyone should have the opportunity to have someone like that in their life. Who am I to say "you don't deserve a second half because you're different"? Besides the obvious (sex) that people snicker that marriage is about she fulfills me in ways mentally, conversationally, temporally etc. This is not to even mention the fact that I can look at a ring on my hand and think to myself that I have a partner for everything through this life and the eternities.

How dare I, or anyone in a heterosexual relationship say that those that swing the other way don't deserve that peace of mind, satisfaction, joy, and peace? That is my first school of thought.

My other argument is geared toward those that say that homosexuality and any relationships therein are against the bible and preached through their churches to be foul and wrong. Great. Good for that. Marriage in the context we're speaking right now is a secular argument. The right to be married in this country to the person of your choice under the constitutional thoughts of separation of church and state and that ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL. (Men meaning the race, not the gender of course.)

Religiously my church says "no". Constitutionally my country should be saying "duh, of course you can. Yes the country was set up with belief that their is an almighty, but it was also set up so that It could function separate from a religions influence. Aside from the religious argument or people saying that it immoral (in accordance with their own morals of course) I have not heard an argument as to why two people can't be married. This brings up my point about religion; let's say that Jim is Atheist or Wiccan or some other religion than Christian and doesn't believe that there is a Christ or God as taught by Christianity. Why then do we think that a Christian belief and moral should dictate his life? I know people from many religions. Some of them are better people than many Christians I know. They of course are exposed to a different manner of estrangement and hatred, but that's another post altogether.

As for Gay people, I of course was taught that they are wrong and bad people when I was a child. I have come to know that any category of person cannot be painted with such a broad brush. I have many friends and even some relatives that are Gay. They are great people and I love them no differently than my straight friends. One of them in particular would do anything for anybody in need. He is kind and thoughtful and looks out for many people less fortunate than him, asking nothing in return. He is still in the closet because of hate and misunderstanding and at this point in his life will probably not have the opportunity to have a marriage because he just hit 70. Did I mention that he is a devout Mormon that attends his meetings and the temple?

I guess the end of my ramble is this. If you don't support gay marriage for any reason, that's great, but don't assume that your morality and your rules should apply to everyone. Not everybody has the same beliefs. Even if you KNOW that your church is true anybody will see that as being true for you, not for them. I know people of many denominations that KNOW that they have truth.
If you are a married individual and have a complete life, take a step back and think how it would be different if you were not allowed to be with your partner. Done? How then in good conscience can you deny anybody the right and feeling that comes with marriage?

Well, here I am.

A buck for anyone that knows that quote without cheating.

So life lately has been lifing. I've been looking for a new job with no success. I enjoyed working as a carpenter but they suddenly had no work. I did have to take a couple of months to let my feet heal as they've decided to have all sorts of issues, but they're better(ish) now and I need a job.

I've applied to everything that I can find, from retail to banks to laborer, but everyone "goes a different direction". I take this to mean there must be something wrong with me. Is it because I'm overweight? I don't smell or show up disheveled to interviews. I feel that I portray myself well; by that I mean that I'm professional and polite. I don't get it.

So meanwhile I'm not providing for my family and hating the fact that I'm not. I wish I had an idea I could sell for a million bucks, but even the great ideas I have I have no idea how to act upon. (I'm nerdily tickled that I wrote "I have I have")

So if my one reader knows of any job or how to go about building a prototype, let me know.

I'm a Mormon, Yes I Am.

Recently there has been a lot of exposure about Mormonism. Some good, some bad. The other day I had a friend who I respect and care about attack Mormonism with foulness, expletives, "you believe's", "did you know's", "Joseph Smith this and that's". Basically all things I've heard before, but not from someone I trust and love.

I have never been confrontational about my beliefs. I know they seem different and weird to people, but you know what, some of theirs seem that way to me. I think that we should live and let live. Even on my mission if I came across people that had a belief they were stalwart in and thought was the truth I would thank them for their time and move on (if they expressed no desire to hear about mine). I wouldn't push and wheedle like other missionaries I knew. I wouldn't insist that they need to come to my truth. If they had a belief I was happy for them, and you know what, I was an extremely successful missionary by teaching those who wanted to be taught.

All that said I'm going back to my railing friend who asked venomously "why do you even believe that? Why do you follow so many restrictions and rules? There's no truth in those, why not just have fun and enjoy life?" I've heard all these things before, I've thought about these things before. Here's my answer:

I am a Mormon, and I believe in my church because I hope. I hope beyond comprehension that the church is true. I hope beyond 'rational thought' that I'll be sealed to my wonderful wife for all eternity. My heart and soul ache with the losses of my baby brother Enoch and my brother in law Brian. Both of them were honestly too good for this earth and I hope beyond all my own comprehension and understanding that when I leave this world they will be waiting for me and I will get to wrap my arms around them and share eternity with them. I hope that the atonement is real, I hope that Christ really paid for my many many shortcomings. I hope that there is a world of Joy and Light beyond this one where I can be with my beloved family and friends. I hope. Plain and simple.

I also believe. I believe in the things that I'm taught because they resonate within me and feel right. I believe that there must be more to life than just this life. I can't comprehend passing on from this life to nothing. NOTHING, not even existence. I cannot believe that.

Long and short, I am a Mormon. I hope. I believe. I will not rant and rail at you for what I think is strange and restrictive. I do enjoy life, I don't need some of the things that other people "need" to have fun. I have some issues with some things that are not necessarily taught, but are widely believed, by my church. But I deal with those and do the best that I possibly can.

And you know what? If I'm wrong, and there is nothing after this life at least I had that brightness of hope; at least I lived the best that I could, making mistakes all the way, but learning and growing. If I'm right and there is more in the next world and I do get to be with my brothers and I get to hear my God say "well done, enter into the rest of the Lord" how happy will I be and I hope that you will join me there eventually.

CIty of Joseph. City "the Beautiful". City of Joseph, Nauvoo.

This summer Susan and I went to Nauvoo. She played in the bagpipe band for the pageant. I hung out and ate Casey's pizza and Annie's frozen custard.

We had fun. Poor Susan played four times a day with the last time being an hour and a half straight to drown out the protesters. I was under strict instruction to not punch the protesters. Bah.

We got to see old Nauvoo and go across to the Iowa side of things to see the Temple from across the river.

Every day the pipe band would parade down Mulholland street and then play one or two 30 minute gigs in old Nauvoo. At 7:00 pm they would muster at the entrance to the pageant and play until about 8:25 while people were coming in. At 8:30 they'd begin the pageant by playing at the front of the flag presentation. At one point during the pageant a few had a small part on stage and then they'd have to stay around and mingle afterwards. With the exception of 2 hour-ish breaks they would be at it from 10:30 am to close to 11:00 pm. I was super proud of her.

I took Susan, and a couple friends that went out, to AOA and Far West and through Nauvoo and to Liberty Jail. 

After the pageant was over we drove to Missouri where we were able to be a part of doing Enoch's temple work at the Kansas City Temple. I was able to Baptize Seth as proxy for Enoch. It was really special and an experience I'll treasure forever.

Brian

                                                            Brian is in the middle


I've been meaning to post a blog all day about how life isn't fair for taking Brian and how saddened and angry at God I am, but instead I figure I should talk about how great he was and is.

First I heard from Brain was am email that Susan forwarded to me after telling him that we were engaged. He was so bubbly and excited for her and stoked that we were going to wait for him to come back from his mission to be able to attend. His email was full of "wow's" and "yea's". I could tell how much he loved Susan and how truly happy he was for her.

I got to go along with Susan and tom and Kathy when they picked him up at the airport. He was a turd; rather than coming down the escalator like the rest of the missionaries he snuck around another stairway and tried to sneak around the crowd of people to surprise his family. Susan spoiled that plan by discovering him. He laughed it off and threw his arms around Kathy.

All the way home he muttered things such as "where am I?" "what is this place?" "where are the trees?" Susan reached out her hand to him and he put a pass-along card in it and said "Jesus came to the Americas." I was being dumb and he'd mutter "who is this guy?" Whenever his mom or dad called him "Brian" he'd correct them by muttering "Elder Kelley".

I have dinner twice a week at his parents house where he stayed for a while after coming home and I'd get to laugh and joke with him and play card games and watch him try to cheat all the while directing his signature 'ssssssssssss' at his mom.

Brian moved in with us for a couple months to be closer to Provo. I remember nights of playing Mario while giggling like idiots and screaming in fright at the unexpected traps in the levels all the while with Susan laughing at us.

Of course he came out to Nauvoo with us when we got married and he made the trip hilarious. From climbing on statues to making friends with everyone out there to stealing Susan's cowl and parading around to being the self appointed cake-cutter/drink filler at our reception he just kept everybody laughing and happy.

Brian was a joy. He was truly a happy kid and he was beautiful and he knew it. Everybody was Brian's friend, they just didn't know it yet. The world is a darker place without him, and I am lucky beyond belief to have known him and to be able to see him again.

Second Verse, Same as the First

SO, back to the cruise...



Our third stop was in Belize where we decided to take an excursion. Most were expensive and not things we'd think we'd do but we found one to the zoo for about 60 each that both of us thought would be fun. It was cool. After a bus ride of an hour or so we got to the Zoo which was a fenced off section of jungle in the middle of nowhere. The thing I liked about the zoo was that instead of paddocks and cement like in America the Belizians fenced off sections of jungle and left dirt and gravel paths between the different enclosures. So basically all of the animals were in their natural habitat with trees and bushes and creeks etc. there were some really cool animals that I haven't seen in any zoo's here and the jungleness of the place was awesome.

This is one of the paths in the zoo.














Is to for Jaguar.






We had a lot of fun there and got to see cool animals and hold a boa.

Next stop Grand Cayman

Cayman is one of my favorite places in the world. I've been there 4 times now and I absolutely love it. We took an excursion here as well and went to the turtle farm. Incredible. We got to see the breeding tank that had hundreds of huge turtles, we held the little yearlings and got to get in a holding tank and play with them. it was awesome. Of course I had to try the turtle burger at the bar. Susan was horrified.  As seen in the picture if you rub a turtles neck he gets all sorts of excited and arches his neck back for deeper rubs. They were so cute.

After a couple days at sea we were back in Miami and not too long after back in the old UT. It was fun, we kinda maybe wanna sorta go again.

 

It's a Good Life on a Boat

Been a while ago, but Susan and I took our honeymoon in April over her spring break. We went on a cruise to Cozumel, Roatan (Honduras), Belize, and grand cayman. While the trip was incredible it was overshadowed by being able to be with her 24/7 as we had not had any "us time" since we were married. After a whirlwind of travel and wedding and reception it was right back to work and the real world. For that reason this trip was amazing.

I've been on a few cruises before so got a good deal on a balcony sweet that was midship on the 8th deck: Close to everything; minimal rockage from waves; big enough to spend time in without claustrophobia. It was fantastic

Left: our room. Right: our view aft.




It was also nice to have a balcony to stand on without having to share room with thousands of people.

Our first stop was on Cozumel. I love Cozumel, the beaches are incredible; white sand, clear brilliantly blue water, English speaking attendees... Anyway, we got to the beach before anyone else so got a front row beach chair and hung out for a few hours. I snorkeled and played with baby jellyfish. Susan  walked on the beach with me and otherwise had fun away from the water.

 Top Left: gearing up to snorkel. Top Right: My lovely Lady
 Bottom Left: our beach. Bottom Right: Baby Jelly.

We decided, after several hours, to go back to the ship and it was at that point that other people began to show up in force. Until then there had only been around 20-30 people out with us. Awesome :)

I won't go into how incredible the food was, or how plentiful, on the ship. Suffice it to say that we wanted for naught and I gained 12 pounds.



Second day was Roatan. Again we spent time on the beach. Again we were earlier than anyone so had fun before other people came out. The flowers and plants were the highlight of Roatan for me.

Susan got brave and got in the water! Then jumped on my back and had to be towed back in to shore when she stepped on some icky seaweed.

In my next post I'll talk about Belize and Cayman :) TTFN
              

Ooh baby baby, bababy baby,

Don't get too excited about the post, it's not an announcement.

Susan and I have been discussing children and our hopes and fears for child-rearing. As such we've been discussing names for said future offspring. I'm fairly confident my parents won't like the names. They're not standard biblical names and might be construed as strange. Susan has thought of some first names which I love and I'm picking middle names that she's getting used to. The middle names of course being after some of my favorite characters from literature. And by literature I mean fantasy books. And by fantasy I mean magic and quests, not soft porn for lonely old ladies. Ixnay on the abioFay.

So let the wild rumpus begin; the names I like as middle names are: Kaladin, Matrim, Kvothe for boys; Moiraine, Lothlorien, Vin for girls.

Petibo?

SO, I didn't get the second job... But the one that I do have is turning out to be more enjoyable than I would have thought. That's not to say that the work itself isn't mind-numbing, but I work with some fun, nerdy people.
It's kind of nice to wear a firefly or battlestar t-shirt and have people know what it is. Weirdly, and the reason this entry is titled the way it is, my supervisor knows my little sister. He just happened to ask me one day if I was related to a Rachel Deardeuff. Funny.
But I guess the Mormon world is a relatively small one.

The continuing story of Bungalow Bill.

For those of you who don't know I was laid off about a week before I got married. Phenomenal timing, I'm sure. Since then I have been looking for a job, but for one reason or another (okay, really just one reason) I haven't had any luck at all. This week however I have had 2 interviews. YEA. One was at the place that laid me off. BOO. They did offer me the job though, starting on Monday. SO, I am going to go there and start just in case the second place doesn't want me. I want the second place. It's a better job, and it's doing (IMO) more important work. So I'm hoping on the second and going with the first. I have plans to start up my snake breeding business again once I can afford to and once I have a place to do it really, so that will be a few years in the making. I can do a small time operation here, but really we'd need a much bigger house so I could devote a basement or garage or spare room to it.

Anywho, hope along with me that I get the second job and can start being a productive individual and husband!

And I think it's gonna be a long long time...

Wow, it has been a long time since I blogged. Doesn't bother me too much as (as before) there haven't exactly been clamorings for more posty-posts.

Regardless, a lot has happened. I won't write about the stresses and other things, but I will say that I have moved back to Utah (which I swore never to do) and I got married (which people swore would never happen).

Wait, what the what?! Yep. My Silly Susan turned out to be my absolute soul mate. She is perfectly everything that I ever wanted in a Girl/Lady/Wife (yes, I capitalize random words to draw emphasis to them. Don't judge) and on top of all that she is my very best friend. I cannot describe enough how amazing and stunning a person she is, so I won't try. (sorry Master Yoda)

As well as getting an incredible, incredible Lady, I married into an amazing family as well. Tom and Kathy (her Mom and Dad (not respectively, silly)) are amazing. I love them, I couldn't have picked/asked for better in-laws. They're fun, funny, extremely nice and kind to me, and share many of my passions and hobbies. Her brothers and their wives (Andrew(Andy?) and Alli, and (hey) Alex and Megan, and Brian (not married(yet))) (Booyah! Triple closing parenthesis!) are all fantastically fun and sweet as well (the wives are sweet) and all seem to accept me as well. I lucked out incredibly on the in-law department.

More ramblings about the last several months, apropos to nothing of course: We have 2 cats and 2 snakes and are planning on getting 2 dogs, so my pet obsession is still healthy. Our ward is the Kolob ward, which I find pretentious. We turned a spare room into a library. Woot.

I Think that's all for now. I'll be back I'm sure. Any one that happens to read this, thank you, much love.

Head! Move!

I got into the massage and body work business to help people out of their aches and pains etc. Not too long into my career I started to use a lot of cranial therapy (moving the bones and structures of the head for health benefits). My mother has done Cranial for years so gave me pointers/advice/motivation etc. which has been quite...er...handy. (Get it, I use my hands a lot).

I only bring up this rather boring subject on my blog because recently I got a phone call that made me happier than anything else in this business ever has, but first; the back story.

When I was living in Missouri I would drive to 4 or 5 Amish communities and work primarily on children, though there were a few adults that I treated as well. One of these children was a little girl named Kristina. She was 4 months old when I started treating her and had such extreme deformities in her head that doctors told her parents she would have to have surgery by the time she was 8 months old or suffer brain damage and growth stuntage.

I wish I could have taken pictures, but the Amish don't allow that through their faith. Anywho, it looked as if someone had taken the top of her head and rotated it to the left by twenty-five degrees and then for good measure pushed it down over her left ear. Her right eye socket was the size of a golf-ball while her left the size of an almond. the center of her forehead was over the outside portion of her left eye-socket and her occiput was sunken and tilted left over her atlas.

Her parents, not having the money or desire to put their daughter through a traumatic surgery, asked if I could help. I told them I believed that I could, but I couldn't guarantee anything. Over the next three months I saw their baby every week to two weeks. The third time they brought her to me I couldn't recognize her so drastic were the changes.

I refer to her as my Rubiks-Cube baby... rude of me, but oh well. After a while of not taking her to the doctors they got quite insistent that she be brought in and seen. The parents asked if they could do a reevaluation first before resorting to a surgery. Sadly I moved out to Utah before they brought her in but referred them to another cranial therapist to finish what I started. When I left she looked really good. Her eyes were even and almost the same size, the top of her head was rotated to it's proper alignment, and her occiput was nearly normal.

The phone call. About a week ago I got a call from her father Thaniel who told me that they took her in for her evaluation and the doctors were astounded that she was the same baby. They told him that she no longer needs the surgery and appears to be looking forward to a life of healthy normalcy. I was so happy I cried. It showed me that no matter how difficult it is to find gainful employment in my field, and how much of a struggle it can be to support myself doing solely this, it can be totally worth it in the lives of the people I see.

Mr. Redford please hold, me.

A lot has happened since my last post, I went on a cruise to the Caribbean to be an aide to an older gentleman and saw some really cool places such as Xunantunich and Talum (both mayan ruins).
In a less lazy world I would blog all about how cool it was, but you'll just have to ask me about it because I have better news: I'm engaged to my lovely silly Susan!
After the cruise I went out and met her family in Utah and they were all great, and then this past week she came out here to meet mine. We spent some time with the family but mostly I took her all over to church history sites and to the towns I grew up in in Missouri.
Wednesday I took her to Nauvoo Illinois and we went to several of the places in town and learned about life in Nauvoo in the 1800s and at 5:00 we did a session in the temple.
I rushed to be out of the temple first and met her at the bottom of the stairs by a tulip bed and asked her a couple distracting questions and pointed out how pretty the sunset was going to be over the Mississippi River. She turned to look and I went to a knee. When she turned back around I asked "Susan Kelley, will you marry me and make me happy every day for the rest of existence?" She quivered, raised a fluttery hand to her mouth, teared up a little and said "A-buh-a. Yes"
I must admit that I cried a little too, but on April 13th at 6:47 pm my pretty, silly, amazing lady said yes, and really what's a better way to end a day than that?



(Certainly not a 3+ hour drive home)

Bored now

Buffy quote, right before Willow rips a dudes skin off in one piece. creepy.

This title is just to draw emphasis to the fact that for a few months now I haven't been able to do ANYTHING because I hurt my foot(l), back, knee, now foot(r). So basically my lfe has consisted of waking up and limping to let the dogs out, then sitting on the couch until I have to limp over and let them out again. Lather rinse repeat. Got very boring.

The plus side is I have been able to think a lot about life. More to the point: where in life I am and what I want to be doing with my life and why the flying hell I haven't yet. Sorry to anybody who happens to read this if you're offended by the word Hell. Be careful though because being offended is dumb and may land you there for judging me for saying it.

sin/cos aside (by the way sin/cos = tangent) I have been thinking that while I absilutely love what I am doing with my body work I need to find a way to either make it more productive, ie get an office in town and advertise and work through chiropractors, or perhaps move back to Utah to be with Susan and set up a practice out there and perhaps finish one of the college degrees I started.

It is a rather sad statement that in order to really get anywhere in this day and age you need a paper that states you know what you're talking about. Pretty dumb qualification if you ask me. I know of myriads of great people throughout history who weren't encumbered with the necessity of having a college degree before their mighty works came forth.

OH yeah, wow, tangenting all over the place again. Basically I'm tired of sitting around on the couch, the last few days I tried being more active and my foot has really let me feel of it's displeasure. Stupid foot.

Big happy bright side, I talk to Susan all the time. First thing in the morning before she goes to school, then 15 minutes during recess, then 30 for lunch and then an additional 30 or so during her prep period and then basically all evening unless she's teaching Piano or bagpipes ar practicing with her pipe band. She's an amazing busy lady. Last month I sent 20,000 text messages. Wow. That is either insane or awesome, and on that I'll let you be the judge.

Suuuusan

I write this blog after much chiding from a dear friend :)

For those of you who don't yet know, I have begun a long distance relationship with my friend Susan :).
Susan was my neighbor when I lived at Lakeridge in Orem about 2 years ago. I asked her out then, but due to one thing or another nothing ever happened, and even though I moved and fell out of contact, save for facebook, I was never able to get her out of my head. So after some creepy facebook stalking action I got her phone number and mischievously began texting her a few weeks ago. I sent her flowers for Valentines Day and convinced her to finally give me a chance :)
Susan is sweet, adorable, silly, cute, and I could nauseate you further with an entire list of endearing traits, but I think I will save you the trouble of wondering whether you retched enough to finally tear your esophagus from your stomach. Long story short I adore Susan, and I'm looking for a way to go out to Utah and spend time with her and meet your family. She is coming out here to see me on spring break in April. That seems sooooo far away.

So, more about Silly Susan, she teaches elementary school and piano and bagpipes. She also plays in a decorated bagpipe band. She owns a condo in Springville (gulp) Utah, likes to bake and is absolutely fantastic :). As I said before I adore her and am super grateful to have her in my life. I also 'freak her out' ;)

Love you Susan :D. You make me extremely happy.

I'm an uncle

It's lovely being home around all my siblings, but it's really hard to be so far from my nephews. JBary just had their third little boy, and he is adorable, and Michthany have 2 little boys. I love them all and miss being able to see them :(

Well, I haven't seen little Andrew yet in person, but I positively adore her other two, Max and Benny. Sometime I must trip out to Utah to see them.

Nathanial and Jacob are also multiple squeeze worthy but they're all the way over in Washington! So perhaps a trip there is in order too...

Hmm

Well, I haven't posted in a while now, but nobody has exactly been clamoring for me to too...

So made the move up to Missouri, and in doing so I successfully powerslid a uhaul around a corner (the stig would be proud).

Since being here I have (i think) helped tons around the house (i live with my parents...again), but I (with help) cleaned and organized the house; changed the faulty plumbing; cleaned and organized the garages (that one without help) and other various stuff.

I did finally get my massage license for missouri, so now I just have to get a car and a building.

Boringest blog post ever.

Seattle

It's not an obscure quote, but oh well. It has been said in film and song thus staying with my quote motif.

This past week I and nearly all of my siblings met up at my illustrious brother Michael's house in Seattle. Good times were had. Without going into too many of the details I'll give a rundown (run-on?) of the festivities.

The first day we were there I went out with my dad and James to pick blackberries. Apparently these humongous bushes grow wild all throughout Seattle. It also became apparent that my choice of flip-flops was poorly thought out. Yes I knew the bushes were thorny, however I did not know that there would be piles of dead thorny bramble all over the ground. After several minor lacerations and one slip of the foot earning a prick to the bottom of the arch I magnanimously decided that I would hold the bag so as to allow my brother and father to worm their way into the bushes easier. They would stick an arm out from these treacherous bushes of despair and drop their prized berries into my bag before rummaging deeper into the thorny abyss. After an anecdote about picking berries with his mother until he had to inform her it was time to stop I gigglingly (new word, it's gonna be a thing, and why the crap does spell check accept 'gonna' as legitimate? I digress) said 'Dad it's time to go'. And wonder of wonders we went!

Mmm blackberries, as syrup or in oatmeal they were exquisite. After breakfasting on various all natural thingies we decided that we would take a drive up to Hurricane Ridge (magnificent view) and continue on to the Hoh Rainforest. As I stated before (but feel it deserved a second mention) the view from Hurricane Ridge was tremendous.

We could see Canada (not the tremendous part of the view) and a range of glacier covered mountains. Took a walk around the crest and saw some amazing vistas, and a bunch of deer that were rather nonchalant about us two legged types being around.

Back into the cars we go and off to the Hoh rain-forest. We had to pass through Forks to get there and let me tell you "Twilight" has either destroyed or invigorated that town depending on your viewpoint. Mine is the former. Everything was labeled 'twilight this' or 'twilight that'. 'Bella eats here' proclaimed local establishments, there were other more mundane items such as 'twilight firewood'. Really? I ask you.

Moving on, it was quite a drive to the rain-forest, but well well worth it. The smell alone was incredible. I saw the largest trees I have ever seen, amazing fern like foliage, mosses of many variety, I even heard an elk bugle. We decided to walk down one of the trails (which was quite a bit longer than anticipated) and it quickly grew dark. Luckily I pulled out my iPhone which has a flashlight (yes there's an app for that) and made my way merrily on. I could happily go back and spend days in the forest. we got back to the cars at around 8:00ish and had to race back to the other side of the state to catch the last ferry home at 12:05. We made it, but that ferry only operates on the weekends, so we had to rush down to the south part of the island peninsula to get the actual last ferry at 1. after landfall we made it home at somewhere in the vicinity of 2 AM and blissfully tumbled into bed. BTW, I have absolutely no cushion on my bum, and sitting that long was quite uncomfortable, but totally worth it.

The next day (Friday) we packed up the cars again and drove up to Oak Harbor to see my Grandpa. I haven't been to his house in 25 years but the floor plan was just how I remembered it; (that semicolon [also I have a friend nicknamed Semi Colon due to an unfortunate blood clot {I digress}] is for you Rebecca Maas Blevins) hurray for geeking out about little things like floor plans. We bought KFC for lunch and Grandma Ruth showed up with some Albertsons deli chicken so there was plenty of fowl food to go around (I like puns, don't judge). After/during lunch my brothers and I made free of the fallen apples in Grandpa's backyard and played monkey in the middle. Many lost and splattered apples later we were done and juicy and somewhat sweet smelling. James exploded a thrown apple against the heel of his palm. It looked sweet (ba dum ching). BACK ON THE ROAD!! We drove over deception pass (gorgeous) and stopped at a roadside/beachside park and threw a baseball around/played on the beach/ used some seaweed as a whip (it was surprisingly flexible [I contend it should be 'flexable', makes more sense to me] and strong)/ laughed at Stephen who chose the frigid ocean of Washington to be his first oceanic swimming experience/ skipped stones/ had a jolly good time before driving the couple hours back to Seattle.

By the way, I love Seattle. I thought the city was quite lovely. The skyline was pleasant, there were trees and bushes and coast. Very nice.

Saturday we went to the beach and had family pictures taken and played frisbee on the sand. So much fun. My family basically rocks. For lunch after a touch of confusion we went to a place on the pier that sold fish and chips (and clams/oysters/other stuff). After eating my fish and some of my chips with relish (the noun, not the sauce) I went and fed the rest of my chips (fries) to the seagulls. My siblings and/or I would hold one (chip/fry, not seagull) in the air and the seagull/s would fly down and take them from our fingers. AWESOME. I'm an animal nut, again, don't judge.

Sunday was church and then going to watch the locks between the ocean and the lake. Fun, geeked out again, saw salmon in the salmon ladder, watched boats use the locks, hung with family, saw one of my nerf-esque balls get thrown into the ocean, (I was sick of slashes, thus the commas) (still love the parenthesis though), and rolled down a hill that was faster than it appeared. Good times.

Monday the Parents and younger siblings went home. Boo hiss. Oh well, I'll be in Missouri with them in a week... I don't remember what else we did monday...Except we ate at an establishment called the crab pot which was immensely gratifying. The waitress gave us bibs and covered our table with butcher paper then dumped a pot of crab and shrimp and oysters and mussels and clams on our table. I want these people to do this at my house at least weekly.

The rest of Monday and Tuesday consisted of playing board/card games and enjoying each others company. Aside from a small trip to the park where we all got very dizzy by spinning repeatedly on playground equipment not intended for adults. Too Much Fun.

All in all the trip was exactly what I needed. I was happy, I laughed, I saw siblings, and I didn't wet my pants once...(well... maybe a little, those spinny things were fast!)

BooHoo Boone

Got up in church today for the first time in a long time. I don't generally like doing it, because while I have a super strong testimony and all that I just tend to tear up and get facial twitches when I'm talking. How I made it through my mission I have no idea lol.

Anyway, during my testimony I guess I talked about my mission because after the meetings a little lady came up to talk to me and told me she was from the Philippines. So I spoke with her in Tagalog for awhile, which was fun as I love using my language skills, and she said had she known about my mission before she would have cooked me all sorts of Filipino food.

Well dang it, I should have got up a year ago when I first moved here!

So further updates. James and I have decided that we will be moving into Chillicothe rather that Hamilton or some other place in north Missouri. I'm excited for that. WOOT.